Those who the gods would make rich and famous on TV, they first drive mad.

Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen.

My life needs editing.

People tell me there are a lot of guys like me, which doesn't explain why I'm lonely.

I've arranged with my executor to be buried in Chicago. Because when I die, I want to still remain active politically.

When Obama ran, he said, We can change the world! The world: can you change it back?!

There's a danger our fiscal bankruptcy might overtake our moral bankruptcy.

A conservative is someone who believes in reform. But not now.

Remember that no matter how selfish, how cruel, how unfeeling you have been today, every time you take a breath, you make a flower happy.

The fact is that you can't have a good relationship with a girl who hasn't settled things with her father.

One thing about being narrow-minded: you'll never be lonely.

Have you noticed how many people who walk in the shade curse the Sun?

I am not an Athenian or a Greek, but a citizen of the world.

I'm as vain as everybody else, but if I see a mirror I have to look at myself.

If you don't measure up to your expectations, realize that you should just be life without expectations.

The jury had down right contempt for punk rock grass roots ethics.

Everybody knows the dice are loaded.

Ah well, 'tis the way of the world -- births and deaths, births and deaths.

There's nothing quite like a World Cup.

Make YOUR can larger than YOUR can't, and YOUR DREAMS bigger than YOUR doubts

I am a woman's rights. I have as much as any man, and can do as much work as any man. I have plowed and reaped and chopped and mowed, and can any man do more than that?