Thou shalt not steal-only from other comedians.

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.

The man in our society is the breadwinner; the woman has enough to do as the homemaker, wife and mother.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake.

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil'ss Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon - and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter.

Umbrellas raining upon me, as these cloudy tears give me shelter.

I learned that you can't truly own anything, that true ownership comes only in the moment of giving.

When you are thwarted, it is your own attitude that is out of order.

Being a chef isn't the ideal career to intersect with parenting, but I try to be in my kids' lives as much as possible.

Probably millions of Americans got up this morning with a cup of coffee, a cigarette and a donut. No wonder they are sick and fouled up.

Nature is not embarrassed by difficulties of analysis.

I've always been fascinated by Disneyland and Disney World, and my favorite part of the park was always Tomorrowland.

Out of monuments, names, words proverbs ...and the like, we do save and recover somewhat from the deluge of time.

And, of course, the funniest food of all, kumquats.

Now it's clear to me/ that everything you see/ ain't always what it seems.