Thousands of dead fish have now washed up on shore along the coast of South Carolina. Today the NRA said that this wouldn't have happened if those fish had guns.

According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog.

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'

Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution.

Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers.

The world is drastically changing, but happiness will always remain a gift that can only be received from within.

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.

I'm really much better at asking questions than answering them, since asking questions is like a constant deflection of oneself.

I turned down the opportunity to be in some films that went on to be blockbusters.

Nothing we learn about the universe threatens our faith. It only enriches it.

Be generous, be delicate, and always pursue the prize.

Everyone has an equal right to inequality.

It's very impossible to live by yesterday's standards and expect extraordinary results today. Live life with passion!

Don't wish for "secrets" of the masters, either. There are none worth fooling with. They had no special mediums or paints, nor special brushes that made their work great.

Comedy has always been something I love, but for some reason - probably because of the British accent - I've always been pushed toward more period work.