Tied one on last night. Not feeling great this morning. I was trying to sleep it off, unfortunately, it was on the casino floor.

I didn't come from a background where I saw a lot of loving couples. All my aunts and uncles were either split up or fighting all the time. The only healthy relationships I saw were on TV.

When things are bad, it's the best time to reinvent yourself.

It's not even about black and white anymore, because so many people are from mixed backgrounds and mixed ethnicities, and it's just a great time to be able to pull all that together.

No particular race is the enemy. Ignorance is the enemy.

When I was 10 there wasnt trampolines and cartoon charaters, I never went to Chuck E Cheese! My mom said 'You wanna see a mouse pull the refrigerator Out!'

Whoever is my relative, I will not be nice to them.

We're Mexi-cans not Mexi-can'ts.

It's a great day in America when white people, black people and Latinos can all come together and pick on another minority.

I'm a big fan of reality shows. I thought the first one, Dukes of Hazzard, captured white people perfectly.

Y'know, if those pews reclined, and the priests gave the Raiders scores I'd go to church every Sunday.

Being a comedian is a lot like being an athlete. If you're Carl Lewis and you're the fastest, then no matter what you're the fastest.

Marci Geller was a revelation! She's wonderful!

As repressed sadists are supposed to become policemen or butchers so those with an irrational fear of life become publishers.

My father was in the First World War.

...life is all about chances. You might be safer not taking any. But playing it totally safe means you're only existing. Not living. I want to live.

James Bevel could do more with young people than any human being on the face of the earth.

I love to swim, and I love being near water.

Wow, you're never allowed to sleep late again. You're crankier than a fat guy in stilettos.

Speak the language of high intelligence, and thus you speak the language of God.

There's a feeling about it. You feel almost like a cabinetmaker, laying planks. There's a real feeling when you know you're getting it right. It's a physical feeling.