Time. It hangs heavy for the bored, eludes the busy, flies by the for young, and runs out for the aged.

Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.

In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.

Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead.

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.

Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.

Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

Deep feeling doesn't make for good poetry. A way with language would be a bit of help.

When a person sets out to learn from others and not to teach others he becomes a true writer.

Russia should recognize the freedom of countries, such as Ukraine, to choose their alliances.

I love keeping a connection with everyone I've worked with.

Hiding what you know is sometimes as important as knowing it.

The law always limits every power it gives.

Great marriages are like the Higgs Boson particle, its existence has been theorized, but no one has ever seen one.

What if I lose you?" "You can't lose your mother, Charley.

My goals are to continue acting and also to produce some independent films in the next few years. Music is a passion of mine, so I also want to continue along that path, creating with my friends.

I may have implied on several occasions to several different people that I may have been Jesus Christ, but I haven't decided yet what I am or who I am.