To Tom Carlson or his dog-depending on whose taste it best suits.

Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.

Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, were it not for making living, which is rather a nouciance.

The door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Behold the Zebra on the plains, And shudder at his mighty manes!

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.

When I remember bygone days I think how evening follows morn So many I loved were not yet dead, So many I love were not yet born.

Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

The closer one approaches to God, the simpler one becomes.

Unconditional love takes a strong and deliberate evolution. Unconditional love is way beyond emotional involvement. This is loving the person inside the person… loving their very soul.

There is no loneliness like that of a failed marriage.

Our history shows that what we must do is assert domination over the machine, to guide it so that it works for the values of our choice.

The unique and supreme voluptuousness of love lies in the certainty of committing evil. And men and women know from birth that in evil is found all sensual delight.

Frugality includes all the other virtues.

Music is one of the few things I'm relatively good at, one of the things I understand a little better than everything else.

The many speak highly of you, but have you really any grounds for satisfaction with yourself if you are the kind of person the many understand?

There is nothing more atrociously cruel than an adored child.

My forte is awkwardness.