To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her.

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor.

Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.

A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it.

A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.

A good woman inspires a man, a brilliant woman interests him, a beautiful woman fascinates him, but a sympathetic woman gets him.

Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

[Home educator] sometimes teaching and parenting is tough stuff. That is the reality of the calling. I hope ... [do] not quit or give up hope but keep moving forward on the path where God guides you.

And what would they find on sale? His sanity? Could be. Half-Price. Smoke and Water Damage. Everything Must Go.

In every tyrant's heart there springs in the end this poison, that he cannot trust a friend.

If you don't have a deal, you wind up losing money.

Paris Hilton is one of the hosts for Nicole Richie’s baby shower, and they’re serving sushi. Awesome, Paris—sushi, the one thing pregnant women are forbidden to eat. Thanks for the mercury.

I used to be a mean maniac. Someone once threw a firecracker at a show and I jumped off the side of the stage and whacked 'em on the side of the head.

I have no intention of taking a break

Il n'y a pas d'autre univers qu'un univers humain, l'univers de la subjectivite humaine. There is no other universe except the human universe, the universe of human subjectivity.

I disapprove of lots of decisions made by George Bush: the war, the meddling in the affairs of other countries, the conversations with dictators; it was a dark time.

We are all here on earth to help others.