To be really great, you need to be naturally funny in order to stand out. But you can work at it, and find the best vehicle that you have to communicate what you're saying to people.

We had to break up, though. We wanted different things - like he wanted kids and I wanted him to hear.

You know what the worst part about my drinking is? When I'm drunk I slur. You know, like I say racial slurs. Wow, nobody likes that at a barbeque.

I have an excuse, actually, why I've been drinking so much. I haven't said this out loud yet - this is exciting - I'm drinking for two. Thank you, wow. I mean, just for now. Somebody's being evicted.

I finally just slept with my high school crush. But I swear; now he expects me to go to his graduation - like I know where I'm going to be in three years.

Nothing good ever happens in a blackout. I've never woken up and been like, 'What is this Pilates mat doing out?'

Don't feel bad for me. I think I'm, like, so pretty.

Everyone is allowed to have their own boundaries. You just are. No matter how you dress, no matter what you say or anything, and I feel strongly about that.

I made out with a homeless guy by accident. I had no idea -- he was really tan, he had no shoes on. I just thought it was, like, his thang, you know? I was like, 'He's probably in a band.

I say if I'm beautiful. I say if I'm strong. You will not determine my story - I will.

I'll never forget how she told us. She took us all out to brunch, and she was like, 'You guys, I'm keeping this one.'

It had gotten to the point where it seemed like nothing matters, because I’m not a real person and neither is anyone else.

Organized religion, wielding power over the community, is antithetical to the process of what modern democracy should define as liberty. The sooner we are without it, the better.

What's good for America better damn well be good for General Motors.

The evil works from a bad center both ways. It demoralizes those who practice it and destroys the faith of those who suffer by it in the efficiency of the law as a safe protector

We have to get back down to basics. We have to start organizing at the neighborhood level to get people educated to vote.

A man's tie should never be louder than his wife.

I like the physicality in doing the different physical motions, being a beast.

When we place more value on what other people think of us than on what we think of ourselves, it’s a formula for misery.

I believe in extraterrestrials, but I believe that real extraterrestrials are so peculiar that the job is to recognize them.