To believe that Russia has got rid of the evils of capitalism takes a special kind of mind. It is the same kind of mind that believes that a Holy Roller has got rid of sin.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

Change can be good but its always tough to let go of the past

The boring thing about being interesting is that you bore boring people.

Pain is nothing. Pain is in the mind. If you can walk you can run.

A lot of money eliminates a category of worry. If your car breaks down, youre still going to get through the day. But it doesnt make you a happy person if you werent a happy person before.

The trouble with Christianity is, not that its failed, but that it's never been tried . . . not that it can't remake the world, but that it's difficult.

The message we have internalized is clear - we are what we do and what we own, not what we are inside ourselves. Where it counts!

Life is glorious, but life is also wretched. It is both...Life is glorious, but life is also wretched. It is both.

I am never satisfied; I always want more. I always want to get better. I always want to climb another step.

I've always been very forward-looking, and it was actually kind of difficult to turn my gaze backwards to look at comics history.

Never forget that it is not a pneumonia, but a pneumonic man who is your patient.