To denounce moralizing out of hand is to pronounce a moral judgment.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

The beginning of wisdom, as they say. When you're seventeen you know everything. When you're twenty-seven if you still know everything you're still seventeen.

God will never give you anything you can't handle, so don't stress.

I think that women just have a primeval instinct to make soup, which they will try to foist on anybody who looks like a likely candidate.

I have personally seen what a devastating medical condition can cost.

Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping.

Make the important interesting.

I'm always interested in encountering people who are synesthetic and seeing how they experience things.

Love will not just heal your life or mine. Love will heal the world.

You can wear one thing one day and go the other end of the spectrum the other day. There are no rules and such, so long as you're comfortable and you have fun and are yourself.

God looks at the anxious and says, I tore my Son to shreds for you, and you're afraid I will not give you what you need?