To expect life to treat you good is foolish as hoping a bull won't hit you because you are a vegetarian.

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.

Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.

Excuse the mess but we live here.

As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.

Half the world's starving; the other half is trying to lose weight.

Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with.

I call myself a 'domestic goddess.

Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?

I quit smoking. I feel better. I smell better. And it's safer to drink out of old beer cans laying around the house.

One doesn't commit evil actions in the belief that one is acting wrongly. What allows one to commit such acts is the belief that it will contribute to a greater good.

Whoever needs the relationship less has all the power.

My faith does not lead me to think the Lord will provide us with roast pig, bread already buttered, etc. He will provide us with the ability to raise the grain.

Every day, we are assassinating nearly 16,000 additional victims.

I'm not the kind of actor who runs around and insists on being called Stravinsky by everybody, and my family has to call me Igor. I'm not that kind of actor. I think that's pretentious.

I trust the flow of life.

In all my years of performing, no audience member has ever actually assaulted me. I consider this to be the singular triumph of my performing career.

There is very much in the world that is bad. But usually the attempt to defeat evil engenders more evil. I advise you to do good; that is the only way to win the victory.

Nature in America has always been suspect, on the defensive, cannibalized by progress. In America, every specimen becomes a relic.

I don't mind paying people more for something if we're getting more. But just to change a deal because you're greedy and you want more? No. I'm not gonna go along with that.