To get joy, we must give it and to keep joy, we must scatter it.

Work at being a humble person.

Everyone has special talents, and it is our duty to find ours and use them well.

If you want to have a better performance than the crowd, you must do things differently from the crowd.

Bull-markets are born on pessimism, grow on skepticism, mature on optimism and die on euphoria.

To buy when others are despondently selling and sell when others are greedily buying requires the greatest fortitude and pays the greatest reward.

An attitude of gratitude creates blessings.

Sell a stock only when you have found a new stock that is a 50% better bargain than the one that you hold.

The person who really wants to do something finds a way; the other finds an excuse.

It is nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.

Those who spend too much will eventually be owned by those who are thrifty.

The screech of tyres, an almighty bang and a car exploded through the playground wall like a high-velocity bullet through a watermelon.

Making your own Netiquette is advanced internet use, but it's not that hard. It's all good. NetworkEtiquette.net

I get to be the first doctor in the family [because of the honorary degree they're giving me].

This is the big reason most humorists fail. Drunks don't read books.

Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives.

And in high school, people are always watching so there's always a reason to pose.

When I marry my name will not change.

When I was at college there were two things I vowed I'd never do. One was go to a funeral and the other was deal with computers. And then I ended up being a computer programmer in a morgue.

Although, I didnt really like sushi until I moved out to L.A.

I get quiet joy from the observation of anyone who does his job well.