To grasp the true meaning of socialism, imagine a world where everything is designed by the post office, even the sleaze.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

Put the two of us together and we become like moonlight and fireflies... all burning and glowing and lighting up the night.

It’s a pity that virgins can’t be issued with some kind of barcode. Think of the problems that would have saved you.

I rose from marsh mudalgae, equisetum, willows, sweet green, noisybirds and frogs.

The newspapers! Sir they are the most villainous - licentious - abominable - infernal - not that I ever read them - no - I make it a rule never to look into a newspaper.

I would live at the beach if I could, and I love dancing.

There is a sacred, secret line in loving which attraction and even passion cannot cross.

A person should not be too honest. Straight trees are cut first and honest people are screwed first.

The problem with comparison is that you always feel either better than someone else or worthless compared to someone else.

You don't need to be recluse and stay away from people. But you have to set aside a lot of time for stillness. That is the only place there is real fulfillment. You need to slow it down.

The prevailing attitude of the speakers was one of heavy disagreement with a number of things which the reader had not said.