To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can't you do.

Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.

You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.

If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.

Don’t do your best, do my best.

I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.

Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.

No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.

I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.

You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.

If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?

The success is like an umbrella. It has wires in it called faith. It has no meaning if there is no rain and storm called ebbs and flows of life.

I was a postman one Christmas and I developed a morbid fear of dogs.

The beginning of our happiness lies in the understanding that life without wonder is not worth living.

In our manner of speech, our plans of living, our dealings with others, our conduct and walk in the church and out of it-all should be done as becomes the gospel (Phil. 1:27).

Forgiving is not forgetting. Forgiving is remembering without pain.

I never go anywhere and encourage people to get married to someone of the same gender or to have abortions - the issue never comes up.

If you concentrate on the present, you eliminate what happened yesterday and any apprehension of what may happen tomorrow.

Reason can discover things only near,--sees nothing that's above her.

Time's flying wheel leaves little trace behind.

If the US were to attack North Korea, they'd certainly destroy North Korea, but South Korea would be pretty well wiped out too.