To marry the Irish is to look for poverty.

When I die, I want to decompose in a barrel of porter and have it served in all the pubs in Dublin. I wonder would they know it was me?

On Being Old. It's not nice but take comfort that you won't stay that way for ever.

Writing is turning one's worst moments into money.

I'm starved for love. Not ordinary love but real love. The love that's like music or something.

Dear Mr Skully, I have caught my neck in a mangle and will be indisposed for eternity. Yours in death S.D.

Expect the worst and that's what you'll get only it will be much worse.

I got disappointed in human nature as well and gave it up because I found it too much like my own.

The purpose of writing is to make your mother and father drop dead with shame.

Revenge is what I want. Nothing but pure unadulterated revenge. But my mother brought me up to be a lady.

Rid the mind of knowledge when looking for pleasure. Or start thinking and find a lot of pain.

I don't usually play games. I got added to one and was played.When I realize the creator I will be the coach, now that I've mastered the game.

There are people who can achieve huge success in life, while adding a bit of fun and a splash of colour to this increasingly grey world.

The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.

Life is an incurable condition: the only known treatment is to try to keep the patient comfortable.

Christ was the first to be resurrected and never die again.

Now Spring returns; but not to me returns.

Could a man live by it, it were not unpleasant employment to be a poet.

Why are they called a-part-ments, when they're all stuck together?

Golf is the most useless outdoor game ever devised to waste the time and try the spirit of man.

When you are feeling bad, do one thing a day to make your heart dance. It could be a simple thing like looking up at the sky.