To me, a politician's job is to listen to constituents' problems and try to sort them out.

By puberty I learned that nothing worth having could be easily attained and to succeed one must be single minded.

As long as we prioritize material truths over spiritual truths we will live in tyranny because we are living an illusion

You must not feel persecuted and examined. Liberate yourself from the idea that people are watching you.

The thing I thought about doing it was it's Comic Relief and you've got to be funny. So although I did try to sing properly it obviously has hilarious results when you can't sing.

People say you should read your criticism because it will make you a better person but it doesn't. It just makes you a sad bitter old showbiz nightmare.

I get fixated when I'm bleeding -- I can see why they went in for blood-letting in the medieval times because it makes you feel a bit better. When I cut myself, the drama of it calms me down.

A library doesn't need windows. A library is a window.

There are two types of people in this world: one who opens a packet of biscuits, has one and puts the rest back in the cupboard, and one who eats the whole packet in one go.

The bad-boy label is just an assumption.

There are 10-20 times more male comics than female comics; it's something to do with the social structure of society.

Do what is right because it is right.

When people talk about the good old days, I say to people, 'It's not the days that are old, it's you that's old.' I hate the good old days. What is important is that today is good.

I do not put in long hours at the keys - or very seldom. Instead, I snatch time. I write in the crannies of my life.

I have ever held it as a maxim never to do that through another which it was impossible for me to execute myself

The true person is Not anyone in particular; But like the deep blue color Of the limitless sky, It is everyone, Everywhere in the world.

Surrender comes when you no longer ask, 'Why is this happening to me?'

People love steak all over the United States.

If you know the way broadly you will see it in everything.

The future is sooner and stranger than you think.

I have two older sisters and one older brother and hold them largely responsible for the trouble I got into growing up. I believe as the youngest child, that is my right.