To my knowledge, I was the first guy really to do what I do. And then later on different comedians started trying doing it.

Italians are fantastic people, really. They can work you over in an alley while singing an opera.

No matter where you go in this world, you will always find a Jew sitting in the beach chair next to you.

I think if I took therapy, the doctor would quit. He'd just pick up the couch and walk out of the room.

When you enter a room, you have to kiss his ring. I don't mind, but he has it in his back pocket.

When you stand alone and sell yourself, you can't please everyone. But when you're different, you can last.

Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder?

I always rib people, but nobody ever gives me a hard time. I don't know why. Maybe they're afraid of what I might say. There's probably a lesson in that somewhere, but I don't know what it is.

Yeah, I make fun of blacks, and why not? I'm not a black.

I used to play golf. I wanted to be a better player, but after a while I realized I'd always stink. And that's when I really started to enjoy the game.

Some people say funny things - but I say things funny.

The purpose of leadership is to change the world around you in the name of your values, so you can live those values more fully.

Remember always that you have not only the right to be an individual you have an obligation to be one.

Men fear silence as they fear solitude because both give them a glimpse of the terror of life's nothingness.

A leader in the Democratic Party is a boss, in the Republican Party he is a leader.

I have always had the same New Year resolutions: To stop smoking, to start wearing a bra, and to stop shopping.

Give me a house furnished with books rather than furniture! Both, if you can, but books at any rate!

I've done some acting and a lot of different things, but mostly it's the music.

And what better way to get people talking than by creating a new word.

To enjoy a long, comfortable retirement, save more today.

No one is wise or safe, but they that are honest.