To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel.

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Think before you speak. Read before you think.

My favorite animal is steak.

The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.

A hobby is, of course, an abomination, as are all consuming interests and passions that do not lead directly to large, personal gain.

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.

There are two modes of transport in Los Angeles: car and ambulance. Visitors who wish to remain inconspicuous are advised to choose the latter

I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.

Go. Go to your beautiful dances, your beautiful ceremonies. And we will bury our dead.

There is only one El Hombre and that is Stan Musial.

Remember He is the artist and you are the picture. You can’t see it, you can't see your true self. So quietly submit to be painted.

After quitting radio I was able to live on the money I saved on aspirins.

I believe I have a healthy common sense and therefore have no need for religion.

I can tell how far I ought to be going, I know how to get there, all I've got to do is keep playing.

Spirituality is not about being fixed; it is about God's being present in the mess of our unfixedness. (Messy Spirituality)

Hawaii is not a state of mind, but a state of grace.

I find that I put my body in my work when I am at a particularly difficult or joyous point because I want to feel that moment.

Why does baloney avoid the grinder?