To quote from another gospel, DUNE by Frank Herbert, 'Fear is the mind-killer.' ... Jesus was the original Muad'dib.

God works in mysterious ways but at least he works, he's never on welfare in a mysterious way.

Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us.

Internet users, that blue screen of death you were looking at this morning? That's the sky. If you're still confused, look it up on Wikipedia tomorrow.

It would be a very short pint. It would be gummy bears and matzah, and be called Chewy Jewy.

I'm a satirist, so I've got boxing gloves on if the person is worthy of satire. But I'm not an assassin.

This is America. We must defend the principles symbolized by Lady Liberty - unless she's on the pill, in which case, she is a giant green tramp.

Don't cry over spilled milk. By this time tomorrow, it'll be free yogurt.

An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.

Contrary to what people may say, there's no upper limit to stupidity.

What does Karl Marx put on his pasta? Communist Manipesto!

The boy stood on the burning deck Whence all but him had fled The flame that lit the battle's wreck Shone round him o'er the dead.

The future is keeping you out of the present time.

And his hands would plait the priest's entrails, For want of a rope, to strangle kings.

I think people need to see Prince live to really understand how remarkable he is.

There are 2 sorts of pride: one in which we approve others, the other in which we cannot accept ourselves.

As they say, when a man begins to have bad luck, even clabber can break his head.

I went to film school at UT Austin. I learned a lot and that school's good for puking up all your bad movies early and quick. But ultimately, no one can teach you to be an artist.

Words should be used as tools of communication and not as a substitute for action

Every day is different, and some days are better than others, but no matter how challenging the day, I get up and live it.

The friendly preacher who fails to warn of the reality of Hell, betrays the Son of God with a kiss.