To want to become the President is, I think, such a bizarre ambition that it is automatically deranging.

Generally speaking, I think it is fair to say that I am a friend to the creatures of the Earth when I am not busy eating them or wearing them.

A stopped clock is correct twice a day, but a sundial can be used to stab someone, even at nighttime.

Specificity is the soul of narrative.

I am not beautiful, so I don't know why I'm making myself ugly. But the mustache stays.

All I can ask from society is that it please stop telling me why I should like sports.

I actually own a copy of my own book; that's how dedicated I am as an author.

There is no ritual that enhances creativity other than just starting.

My career as a magazine writer was largely prefaced on the idea of curiosity, to go on adventures and weasel my way into the lives of people that I admire.

A literary agent is nothing but a cheap salesman (or woman); while a writer is a cheap salesman (or woman) who also has to actually write the books.

The villain of any story is often the most compelling character.

Emancipation resulting in madness. Unlimited freedom to choose and play a tremendous variety of roles with a lot of coarse energy.

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched-they must be felt with the heart.

I don't want to live in a world where I could say to my daughter, 'There used to be turtles that swam in the ocean.'

I don't enjoy watching people fail, but I don't feel sorry for them when they fail crossing my path, that I love.

People sometimes say how standup is so hard, and I always tell them that it's hard at the beginning.

I am best described as just a guy with a very large bump of curiosity and a gambling instinct.

See the child. He is pale and thin, he wears a thin and ragged linen shirt. He stokes the scullery fire.

I'm a huge fan of things like The Wire and The Shield.

Advertising is not merely an assembly of competing messages; it is a language itself which is always being used to make the same general proposal

Easy lives make boring people and things have definitely not been easy.