To win this war, we need a commander in chief, not a professor of law standing at the lectern.

Mr. President, the only thing that stops a bad guy with a nuke is a good guy with a nuke.

Folks, this government isn't too big to fail, it's too big to succeed.

I always remind people from outside our state that there’s plenty of room for all Alaska’s animals — right next to the mashed potatoes.

Assange is not a 'journalist' any more than the 'editor' of al-Qaeda's new English-language magazine 'Inspire' is a 'journalist.' He is an anti-American operative with blood on his hands.

We need independents, we need the GOP, we need Reagan Democrats.

People have a constitutional right to burn a Koran if they want to, but doing so is insensitive and an unnecessary provocation - much like building a mosque at Ground Zero.

If any vegans came over for dinner, I could whip them up a salad, then explain my philosophy on being a carnivore: If God had not intended for us to eat animals, how come He made them out of meat?

Waterboarding is how we baptize terrorists.

We say keep your change, we'll keep our God, our guns, our constitution.

America's finest - our men and women in uniform, are a force for good throughout the world, and that is nothing to apologize for.

If there was no free will in men, then there is no sins. When sins happened, it was 'free will' that made them doable. This is true, unless God has predestined human to do and to have sins.

I look forward to making tangible and inspirational contributions to the Houston Technology Center's initiatives. HTC is an engine behind Houston's and Texas' continued growth.

Is man one of God's blunders? Or is God one of man's blunders?

The only thing we have to fear is a giant wheelchair-crushing squid. Well... uh... actually, I guess that's the only thing I have to fear.

I feel like unforgiveness, bitterness and resentment, it blocks the flows of God's blessings in life.

Great teams always have a Plan B. Look at Barcelona. Their Plan B is to stick to Plan A

I think what attracts me about the Electric Monk is that it's such an eloquent example of the futility of belief for belief's sake. I mean there's only any point in believing something if it's true.

This is Rickey calling on behalf of Rickey. Rickey wants to play baseball.

People always ask me 'do you think there should be more bands doing political music?' and I say 'absolutely not.'

Only one letter divides the comic from the cosmic.