To you, I'm an atheist.To God, I'm the loyal opposition.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.

You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.

Honey! Bring down a copy of my will - and an eraser!

God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.

I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland.

Life should be lived as a dream to see and enjoy the beauty of life.

Accidents happen. That's what everyone says. But in a quantum universe there are no such things as accidents, only possibilities and probabilities folded into existence by perception.

The dealer for a nickelLord, will sell you lots of sweet dreamsAh, but the pusher ruin your bodyLord, he'll leave your, he'll leave your mind to scream.

Fight to preserve these traits of civilization, that made us go forward.

I don't do well with expectation in my life. All I can do is do the best that I can do.

Stop trying to be what society's shoving down your throat.

You can have a wages policy imposed by mass unemployment.

Counting the ways the Book of Mormon brings peace to the soul is like counting the sand on the seashore.

Every revolution destroys the average middle first and most savagely.

It is the very mind itself that leads the mind astray - of the mind, do not be mindless