Tobacco is my favorite vegetable.

A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open.

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons and 85% morons.

There are only two things to remember. Number one...Don't Stop, and number two...Keep Going!

The most important thing to do in your life is to not interfere with somebody else's life.

Power will be maintained by the groovy guy or gal who gets the most media coverage for his sleaze. Naturally, his friends in various businesses will do okay, too.

Republicans stand for raw, unbridled evil and greed and ignorance smothered in balloons and ribbons.

Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible.

Republican is fine, if your a millionaire. Democrats is fair, if all you own is what you wear. Neither of them's really right, cause neither of them care.

It gets harder the more you know. Because the more you find out the uglier everything seems.

The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.

A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.

I am impressed with the natural health programs at Nature Care College. Their dedication to quality education is truly inspiring.

We should have had socialism already, but for the socialists, am quite willing to drop the name if dropping it will help me to get the thing.

Military strikes on Afghanistan will not prevent something this terrible from happening again, for the simple reason that bombs will not deter people who are unafraid of death and desire martyrdom.

It's easy to get married, but hard to stay that way.

David is the show. There are other writers, but it's David's vision.

I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, "Got any shoes you’re not using?

It's cool to go to a place that has posters up and it's one night only. It feels more special.

Criticism changes with the fashion of the time. A story is always a story.

Someone needs to explain to me why wanting clean drinking water makes you an activist, and why proposing to destroy water with chemical warfare doesnt make a corporation a terrorist.