Today is a brand new day. A day of change, of promise, of creativity, of kindness, and of love. I'm going back to bed.

I have the brain of a German Shepherd and the body of a 16-year-old boy; they’re both in my car and I want you to see them

Yet there are some people - Steve Allen would dissect comedy forever; he's a really funny guy, but he would love talking about comedy. I'm doing it right now and you all seem bored.

I'd like a nice piece of salmon that's not too pink inside and yet isn't too dry or crisp either.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. And if that doesn't work out for you, Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life.

Behind every great man in prison is another great man in prison.

My father once told me, and it's stuck with me to this day: As you walk through life, every time you fart it pushes you forward.

If someone sprays windex in your food it can give you diarrhea. But once you wipe it off your windows, you're fine.

I don't roll like that but I've never been with a hooker either. Yeah, that's good to say in an interview cause I feel bad a little because people grew up watching me and that's a little disturbing.

My dad told me if I was ever intimidated by anyone, just picture them with their clothes off. He said that's how he dealt with my mom.

I wouldn't hurt a flea. I'd finger a spider though.

One of Renee's friends asked her, "Does your boyfriend wear glasses?" She said, "No, he wears a Walkman.

Beware of the danger of darkness.

Everything in the world might be connected, but that doesn't mean the way we feel about them has to be.

Religious politics is the bent of those who push "The Myth of the Christian Nation" or "Muslim Supremicism" everywhere! ~ © gfp '42™

Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do no be too eager to deal out death in judgment.

Obstinacy is the result of the will forcing itself into the place of the intellect.

A thinking woman sleeps with monsters.

We all of us need to be toppled off the throne of self, my dear," he said. "Perched up there the tears of others are never upon our own cheek.

The longer I live the greater is my respect for manure in all its forms.

I hope I die before I get old.