Today is tax day. A lot of people are hoping they get refunds. And that's just the folks here in the audience.

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

I was so sad that day. My heart was trying to climb from my body.

I will beg, will take to my knees, will listen to snow stroking air, a sky of gasps, will open my mouth, swallow, somewhere else the sky is falling, somewhere else it gets back up.

We ought to dance with rapture that we should be alive and in the flesh, and part of the living, incarnate cosmos.

To what shall I liken the world? Moonlight, reflected In dewdrops, Shaken from a crane's bill.

The greatest sin a coach can commit is to allow kids to slide by. This goes for the classroom as well as the court

The American Labor Movement has consistently demonstrated its devotion to the public interest. It is, and has been, good for all America.

Even in real life, I'd rather hang out with guys.

I have always had an interest in fashion and design and I appreciate style and timelessness within my footwear and accessories both on and off the court

Management of many is the same as management of few. It is a matter of organization.

Somewhere in the fear and chaos, there is a clarity that few will ever experience.