Today, one year after their divorce, Pamela and Tommy Lee announced they're getting back together. You know what that means? There's still hope for Ike and Tina Turner.

According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog.

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'

Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution.

Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers.

Don't call it death

Degeneracy follows every autocratic system of violence, for violence inevitably attracts moral inferiors. Time has proven that illustrious tyrants are succeeded by scoundrels.

The first show I ever worked on was The Killing, which was a whodunit crime show.

That's a powerful lucky rabbit's foot. I got the part in Gone With the Wind because of it. I got my Warner contract, thanks to it.

Far better it is to have a stout heart always and suffer one's share of evils, than to be ever fearing what may happen.

My childhood lacked affection and ambience.

Unless a writer is extremely old when he dies, in which case he has probably become a neglected institution, his death must always seem untimely.

To become historically-minded is to be grown-up.

People who think too much before they act don't act too much.

We're not great friends, but I admire him. If he thinks he's the best player of the century, that's his problem.