Today's comics use four-letter words as a shortcut to thinking. They're shooting for that big laugh and it becomes a panic thing, using four-letter words to shock people.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.

Live by this credo: have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations.

I personally believe that each of us was put here for a purpose -- to build not to destroy. If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God.

There are three signs of old age: loss of memory ... I forget the other two.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always

Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.

Old age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

I personally believe we were put here to build and not to destroy.

I was a sober as the next guy. The only problem is the next guy was Dean Martin

You cannot believe everything you hear

Strong professional communities risk and sometimes relish conflict.

Let the grand errand into America never be forgotten.

I love a little bit of glamour and I love tall girls.

Oh, what company good poets are!

I saw my Lord with the Eye of my heart, and I said: "Who are you?" He answered: "You!"

Each and every living being in nature is part of God's body.

Our minds and memories are crowded with the common experience of nature.

Have you ever heard of the expression, ladies first" "Yes" "Well, it's truer in bed than it is anywhere else.