Today was a very cold and bitter day, as cold and bitter as a cup of hot chocolate, if the cup of hot chocolate had vinegar added to it and were placed in a refrigerator for several hours.

Anyone who gives you a cinnamon roll fresh out of the oven is a friend for life.

Miracles are like meatballs, because nobody can exactly agree on what they are made of, where they come from, or how often they should appear.

Temper tantrums, however fun they may be to throw, rarely solve whatever problem is causing them.

I didn't realize this was a sad occasion.

They didn't understand it, but like so many unfortunate events in life, just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't so.

Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby - awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.

Chestnuts in stuffing tastes like someone chewed up a tree branch and then French-kissed it into your mouth.

The thing with your heart's desire is that your heart doesn't even know what it desires until it turns up.

Accidents happen all the time.

Morning is an important time of day, because how you spend your morning can often tell you what kind of day you are going to have.

Increasing knowledge lessens the sphere of the supernatural.

I really loved living in the White House, but I don't miss it at all.

I've seen too many celebrities fall from their morals, and I wanna come up under that and be THAT girl that doesn't need a scandal to make herself look better.

I think the concept of seeking fame and fortune in women's football in the States is a bit idyllic.

We got CEOs making 200 times the worker's pay, but they'll fight like hell against raising the minimum wage.

Learning maketh young men temperate, is the comfort of old age, standing for wealth with poverty, and serving as an ornament to riches.

It's more likely I'll dye my hair green, get a bunch of tattoos and go on tour with Amy Winehouse.

I commend women who wake up 30, 40 minutes early to put on eyeliner. I think it's ­beautiful. I'm just not that person.

It is simply not part of my culture to preserve notes. I have never heard of a writer preserving his early drafts.

I am not Mr. Chairman. I am His Excellency, the President of Palestine.