Today, you're 50. Now we can round your age up to 100! Happy 50th birthday!

You should definitely visit the Louvre, a world-famous art museum where you can view, at close range, the backs of thousands of other tourists trying to see the Mona Lisa.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

Life becomes difficult when out of sync with your heart-felt desires.

Let not him who is houseless pull down the house of another, but let him work diligently and build one for himself, thus by example assuring that his own shall be safe from violence when built.

It's named the Lombardi Trophy for a reason, because we play and live in Titledown. We've got the best fans, and I can't wait to go home and see those fans and bring home the Lombardi Trophy.

You are no longer paid just for the hours that you put in, but for what you put into those hours.

I was always younger than anyone around me. One day it began to change.

Protect your enthusiasm from the negativity of others.

I like the groups on Factory, A Certain Ratio and Section 25. I

During the Cold War, we lived in coded times when it wasn't easy and there were shades of grey and ambiguity.

Every time that we sin, we are born of the devil. But every time that we do good, we are born of God.

And I’m yours,” I tell him. “Forever and always and then some.