Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties

I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.

My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.

I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

I'm not crying because of you you're not worth it. I'm crying because my delusion of who you were was shattered by the truth of who you are.

At first, they'll only dislike what you say, but the more correct you start sounding the more they'll dislike you.

It is better to live ready than to get ready!

The war had made some into libertines and some into serious, sober men.

It is better to follow out a plan consistently even if it isn't the best one than to play without a plan at all. The worst thing is to wander about aimlessly.

I'm not talking to you from the point of view of wishful thinking or imaginary craziness. i'm talking to you from a deeper, basic understanding.

I like doing accents. One of my friends works in hotel reservations and I'll ring her up and complain about the suite. Sometimes I get her.

[Marx's theories] gave me a political and intellectual justification for what I believed in a way that nothing else did.

People go through periods when things are dark and cloudy, and they talk dark and cloudy.

Philosophical reflection could not leave the relation of mind and spirit in the obscurity which had satisfied the needs of the naive consciousness.