Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.

There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.

I get up every morning and read the obituary column. If my name's not there, I eat breakfast.

When you stop giving and offering something to the rest of the world, it's time to turn out the lights.

Look at Rose Bertin. From an ordinary seamstress to the milliner

Better to be called something positive and inspirational than something negative.

I think my comparison with Shane would be a loner. I always got the impression that she wasn't scared to be alone. She enjoys it. I can relate to that.

Elections have a way of cooling passions, especially when voters get what they want.

My name's Darren. I'm a musician, part time idiot. That's a full time job actually.

Science can prove nothing about God, because God lies outside its province.

His every syllable flirted. Honestly, he kind of turned me on. I didn't even know that guys could turn me on-not, like, in real life

Social Security was always supposed to be basically, in theory, an insurance program where you pay in and then you get out.

There is a certain expectation of girls to eventually grow up and behave and fall in line. I've always bucked against that.

The people who test your patience are a blessing.. Without them, you can't practice patience.