Too elevated qualities often unfit a man for society. We do not go to market with ingots, but with silver and small change.

A day without laughter is a day wasted.

Contemplation often makes life miserable. We should act more, think less, and stop watching ourselves live.

The sunset glow of self-possession.

There are more people who wish to be loved than there are who are willing to love.

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.

The most wasted day of all is that on which we have not laughed.

The only thing that stops God from sending another flood is that the first one was useless.

Pleasure can be supported by an illusion; but happiness rests upon truth.

Intelligent people make many mistakes because they cannot believe the world is really as foolish as it is.

Society is divided into two classes, the shearers and the shorn.

The central theme of the Bible is salvation, and the central personality of the Bible is Christ.

What we accept as reality is primarily a construction of our imagination.

The church is to help its members mature in Christ’s calling

Making people laugh is magic. I feel like if you have humility, then you can do anything in comedy.

I think writing books is a way for me to work out certain issues. I write about what matters to me, always.

You alone are responsible for what you do, don’t do, or how you respond to what’s done to you.

If you are too weak to give yourselves your own law, then a tyrant shall lay his yoke upon you and say: "Obey! Clench your teeth and obey!" And all good and evil shall be drowned in obedience to him.

The heart has reasons that reason does not understand.

I thought about telling him the truth: 'Oh, nothing. Just having my soul exorcised so I can roam around purgatory, looking for the ghost of the dead cowboy who used to live in my bedroom.

Religion is responsible for a lot of the problems in the history of the world and it's not something that I practice or recommend, but to each his own.