Totalitarianism is patriotism institutionalized.

Asthma doesn't seem to bother me any more unless I'm around cigars or dogs. The thing that would bother me most would be a dog smoking a cigar.

One of the nice things about problems is that a good many of them do not exist except in our imaginations.

Ours is a government of checks and balances. The Mafia and crooked businessmen make out checks, and the politicians and other compromised officials improve their bank balances.

One social evil for which the New Testament is clearly in part responsible is anti-Semitism.

Thousands of years ago only Christ could walk on the water. Today anybody can do it; you just step on the garbage.

In a rational society we would want our presidents to be teachers. In our actual society we insist they be cheerleaders.

Radio is the theater of the mind; television is the theater of the mindless.

Ideas have consequences, and totally erroneous ideas are likely to have destructive consequences.

If the Old Testament were a reliable guide in the matter of capital punishment, half the people in the United States would have to be killed tomorrow.

Millions of Germans had absolute faith in Hitler. Millions of Russians had faith in Stalin. Millions of Chinese had faith in Mao. Billions have had faith in imaginary gods.

Your heart will always go where your mind wanders.

What did I tell you about plastic ties? Only for humans, Julie murmured.If you don't listen to me, I can't teach you anything.

No other continent has endured such an unspeakably bizarre combination of foreign thievery and foreign goodwill.

The heart which finds life in material wealth is usually certain to go farther and seek for more in the satisfaction of base and sullen appetites.

I'll teach you how to jump on the wind's back, and then away we go.

And weed's not a drug - that's denial

Dogs do not have many advantages over people, but one of them is extremely important: euthanasia is not forbidden by law in their case; animals have the right to a merciful death.

I know nothing about hip-hop... There's only so many times you can grab your crotch and prance around stage. I'm gonna get slammed now for this.

You want to be a hero? Learn to create certainty in the face of fear.

Most works are most beautiful without ornament.