Tragic heroes always moan when the gods take an interest in them, but it's the people the gods ignore who get the really tough deals

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Knowledge, like money and muck (manure), serves us best when spread evenly.

Don't keep looking for "something" in the bag of "nothing". You will see the same thing again and again no matter how many times you repeat the look.

At no time did I intend to, or do I believe that I did put forward false information to the American people.

That traveling man was a two time lover, he took my love, then he took my mother.

Well, take the evolution of the Electronic Frontier Foundation. It began as hackers' rights. Then it became general civil liberties of everybody - government stay away.

Albert Einstein didn't care where he lived. Albert Einstein was a genius. Albert Einstein wasn't getting lost in the master bedroom, he was lost in thought.

Control is never achieved when sought after directly; it is the surprising result of letting go.

Some are unwisely liberal, and more delight to give presents than to pay debts.

I will ge glad to have done with this life forever.

Progress in human affairs is more often a pull than a push, a surging forward of the exceptional man, and the lifting of his duller brethren slowly and painfully to his vantage-ground.