Transsexualism is, basically, just another, more drastic twist on the male menopause.

Amsterdam has more than 150 canals and 1,250 bridges, but it never seems crowded, nor bent and bitter from fleecing the tourist.

It has been said that a pretty face is a passport. But it's not, it's a visa, and it runs out fast.

What sort of sap doesn't know by now that picture-perfect beauty is all done with smoke and mirrors anyway?

Families, generally, suck. And I say that as someone who, like my husband, had parents who proved the proverbial exception to the rule.

The freedom that women were supposed to have found in the Sixties largely boiled down to easy contraception and abortion; things to make life easier for men, in fact.

Here in Barcelona, it's the architects who built the buildings that made the city iconic who are the objects of admiration - not a bunch of half-witted monarchs.

The latest twist on the pampering concept is spa parties, where a group of friends take over an entire spa.

Gluttony and idleness are two of life's great joys, but they are not honourable.

My second husband believed I had such a fickle attitude to friendship that each Friday he would update the list of my 'Top Ten' friends in the manner of a Top Of The Pops chart countdown.

Make no mistake, most women are well aware that they've never had it so good; when they enter a spa or salon, it is purely a hair/nails thing, a prelude to an evening of guilt-free fun.

Be sure to understand the terms of any contract, before you sign.

If you pour more water into a river, it will not drown the fish.

I will never lose anything that an audience will miss.I turned things that were scripted as effects into in-camera stuff, which is sexier.

I'd recommend the high road to anybody. You wonder about it and you don't really appreciate it until you do it and you find that it worked for everyone. But I recommend it.

My only model for being a father was my father, an illiterate on the margin of society.

Don't waste your time being upset about something you can't change. Begin again and do it better this time.

I wish that I was looking into your eyes

The more men pray, the less worldly they become. The less they pray, the more worldly they become. I am, of course, speaking of professing Christians at this point.

The angels stand between us and God, but they are translucent, even transparent, and they beckon us to penetrate their luminosity.

Specialisation is for insects!