Travel books are, by and large, boring. They lodge uncomfortably between fact, fiction and autobiography.

I'm an armchair kind of guy, especially when it's raining, which it always is and always will be.

The outfits come and go but there is a constant that I like about the catwalk model: the snotty expression.

If you want to be happy for a short time, get drunk happy for a long time, fall in love; happy forever, take up gardening.

My eyebrows could do with a trim.

Don Quixote's 'Delusions' is an excellent read - far better than my own forthcoming travel book, 'Walking Backwards Across Tuscany.'

I see my large nose, like half an avocado. I broke it falling downstairs when I was six, and it now resembles a large blob of play-dough.

It is more interesting to be compared to someone famous, because it lets you gauge what perceptions people have about your appearance.

An uninspiring canvas becomes a glamorous masterpiece when it is reattributed to a better-known artist.

The moon puts on an elegant show, different every time in shape, colour and nuance.

Reading the play at home, however fulfilling, can never be the vivacious experience that Shakespeare intended.

Nothing has done more damage to the Christian view of life than the hideous notion that those who are truly spiritual have lost all interest in the world and its beauties.

Not by discussions nor by argument, but by lifting up Christ shall we draw men unto Him.

A connection between poetry and blindness is a classical trope.

I have no extraordinary ability. I'm simply an inquisitive individual.

My kids have never known me not working on The Bachelor. But they've lived in Paris and Italy and been to Hawaii and Bora-Bora with me, and it's incredible to me that they've had these experiences.

It is the rule of rules, and the general law of all laws, that every person should observe those of the place where he is.

I think the power of image is in mystery - I endlessly create mysteries, by way of this dystopian message, to initiate intrigue.

If you can make the song a soundtrack to what you're living at the time, I think that's the most important part of a song.

Mycelium is Earth's natural Internet.