Troops of furies march in the drunkard's triumph.

There are few mortals so insensible that their affections cannot he gained by mildness, their confidence by sincerity, their hatred by scorn or neglect

In fame's temple there is always a niche to be found for rich dunces, importunate scoundrels, or successful butchers of the human race.

Who conquers indolence conquers all other hereditary sins.

Silence is the safest response for all the contradiction that arises from impertinence, vulgarity, or envy.

The quarter of an hour before dinner is the worst that suitors can choose.

The more you speak of yourself, the more you are likely to lie.

Idlers cannot even find time to be idle, or the industrious to be at leisure. We must always be doing or suffering

A moral lesson is better expressed in short sayings than in long discourse.

Suicides pay the world a bad compliment. Indeed, it may so happen that the world has been beforehand with them in incivility. Granted. Even then the retaliation is at their own expense.

Comedians are not usually actors, but imitations of actors.

Do the best you can, with what you can, while you can, and success in inevitable.

No one knows while experiencing their darkest hour that some day they may use that very experience to illuminate the ways for others. Nothing is ever wasted.

The best gift you can give a human being is an introduction to a God who loves them.

I'm not famous for my back story investigations; I'm lucky that I work with good writers and it's usually in the script.

Nobody had noticed, nobody had paid attention, but, as usual, the essential part of the matter had been settled before the story had begun, and by then it was too late.

I'm just an awkward old maid with a very great affection for men.

Gratitude is a dialysis of sorts... it flushes the self-pity out of our systems.

I like the irony in my work.

Most of my nightmares involve me forgetting my lines in a stage play.

He burned his house down for the fire insurance and spent the proceeds on a telescope.