True Love can be no deeper than your capacity for friendship, no higher than your ideals, and no broader than the scope of your vision.

A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her.

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor.

Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.

A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it.

A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.

A good woman inspires a man, a brilliant woman interests him, a beautiful woman fascinates him, but a sympathetic woman gets him.

Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

Jesus did not dispute [Satan] . . . our Lord quoted Scripture, and that’s one thing the devil can’t stand! The Scripture defeats him every time.

I want to live like a poor man with lots of money.

SUPPORT LITERACY! A child who cannot read cannot text.

It just gets old when you hear a million raps about how many ways I could shoot you.

I wanted to escape from love, but didn't know how.

I wanna make uniforms for my high school basketball team through brand Yeezy.

To me, speed is really about convenience.

It doesn't matter whether or not you have a head, you must wear the right sort of hat

What's disgusting about the Dirty Harry movies is that Eastwood plays this angry tension as righteous indignation.

One score makes happy ONE player, one assist makes happy TWO.