True humor springs not more from the head than from the heart. It is not contempt; its essence is love. It issues not in laughter, but in still smiles, which lie far deeper.

Teach a parrot the terms 'supply and demand' and you've got an economist.

He who has health, has hope; and he who has hope, has everything.

Long stormy spring-time, wet contentious April, winter chilling the lap of very May; but at length the season of summer does come.

No man lives without jostling and being jostled; in all ways he has to elbow himself through the world, giving and receiving offence.

Endurance is patience concentrated.

I've got a great ambition to die of exhaustion rather than boredom.

Nature alone is antique, and the oldest art a mushroom.

A strong mind always hopes, and has always cause to hope.

A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.

Of all acts of man repentance is the most divine. The greatest of all faults is to be conscious of none.

Love cannot exist without giving, however giving can exist without love.

You've got to enjoy whatever you can and forget about the rest.

Mom could make small things seem miraculous. That was her talent.

Remember, you can always stoop and pick up nothing.

You'd think that sweet would be a land far, far away from irritating, but as it turns out they're right next door, and always having border disputes.

Natural gas is great for America in so many ways.

Sports is about people who lose and lose and lose. They lose games; then they lose their jobs. It can be very intriguing.

Oh, you know, driving around, coming to a stop sign and an entire family, from 8 to 80, will be looking at me with that Dr. Evil look - pinkie on the mouth.

I have terrible short-term memory loss, which I like to think of as Presidential eligibility.

When you die, it will not be because you are sick, but because you were alive.