Truth and ceremony are two things.

The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.

When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.

Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.

It never ceases to amaze me: we all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinions than our own.

You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.

The opinion of 10,000 men is of no value if none of them know anything about the subject.

If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.

Whenever you are about to find fault with someone, ask yourself the following question: What fault of mine most nearly resembles the one I am about to criticize?

The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane.

Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking.

The computer is incredibly fast, accurate, and stupid.Man is unbelievably slow, inaccurate, and brilliant.The marriage of the two is a force beyond calculation.

Cheers to a gracious New Year. May we uphold the fullness of God’s grace, goodness and goodwill.

Anyone who pretends to "understand" Latin America is a fool.

There’s little kids on trains coming up to me, singing my theme song, and they can barely walk.

No man can prophesy with another's parable.

David Steinberg was the reason the Smothers Brothers got cancelled.

Working with Jack [Nicholson] is sort of like standing in front of the Grand Canyon.

Zsa Zsa Gabor, the only woman ever to apply for group alimony. Never got a dinner!

The thing about lying to your parents is, you have to do it to protect them. It’s for their own good.