Truth is more deceptive than falsehood, for it is more frequently presented by those from whom we do not expect it, and so has against it a numerical presumption.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

There is no such thing as a good call at 7 AM. It's been my experience that all calls between the hours of 11 PM and 9 AM are disaster calls.

Sometimes funerals can be good. It reunites you with your cousins you haven't seen in a while.

Our bells are worn threadbare with ringing for victories

To be my man, you have to put up with a lot. I toot under the sheets, I spend a lot of money and I can belch the ABCs.

One of the very important ideas of feminism for me has always been women helping and supporting each other.

Men like M. de Talleyrand are like sharp instruments with which it is dangerous to play.

For me my biggest inspiration is trying to make music that effects me as much as the music made by my heroes.

In the small matters trust the mind, in the large ones the heart.

Tibetans are great with meritorious practices.

There's not a shirt and a half in all my company, and the half shirt is two napkins tacked together and thrown over the shoulders like a herald's coat without sleeves.