Try not to sing too many sad songs for yourself. The universe already hates you. Self-pity isn't going to help.

Memories are bullets. Some whiz by and only spook you. Others tear you open and leave you in pieces.

The place looks like where David Lynch would meet Beaver Cleaver's mom for secret afternoons of bondage and milkshakes.

I'm steel-toed boots in a ballet-slipper world.

That's what Glocks are. High-precision killing machines that scream "Daddy Issues.

He wore his fear on his skin for everyone to see.

When you jump off a cliff, is it better to land on jagged rocks or burning lava? I know this one. The answer is obvious: It doesn't matter where you land. You just jumped off a cliff.

Enemies will kill you with a knife in the back. Friends will kill you with kindness. Either way you're dead.

I came ready to fight Genghis Khan and I walk in on a shut-in playing the biggest Dungeons and Dragons game in history.

If Jesus was a bartender, He would still only be half as cool as Carlos.

No wonder Sherlock Holmes did all that coke. Math is hard.

And lo I am with you always, even to the very end of the age.

Sometimes life seems a dark tunnel with no light at the end, but if you just keep moving forward, you will end up in a better place.

There is no reward beyond the moment. Each moment contains life's reward.

I think it's a pity that in many people's minds constitutional reform and PR have come to mean much the same thing.

Denmark needs change, Denmark needs to move on and Denmark needs my leadership.

I drink a few beers, and I've smoked a little pot. But I'm too health conscious to do it regularly. I run a lot. I don't smoke cigarettes. Pot is the hardest thing I've tried, really.

I have been practicing, with scientific precision, nonviolence and its possibilities for an unbroken period of over fifty years.

The best advice my mom has ever given me is to never give up. She believes when one door shuts, another door opens. Always, always move forward.

Do you realize, when Mandela was inaugurated president, he invited as his special guests the white jailers from his Robben Island prison? He literally did forgive everybody.

I took a Fear of Flying class, and I always missed the class, because I was always flying.