Trying to be a man is a waste of a woman?

A squirrel is just a rat with a cuter outfit!

Being single used to mean that nobody wanted you. Now it means you're pretty sexy and you're taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with.

As we speed along this endless road to the destination called who we hope to be, I can't help but whine, 'Are we there yet?'.

I don't believe in email. I'm an old-fashioned girl. I prefer calling and hanging up.

Follow your instincts and do not let other people's opinion of you become your opinion of yourself.

It's like the riddle of the Sphinx... why are there so many great unmarried women, and no great unmarried men?

Balls are to men what purses are to women.

After all, computers crash, people die, relationships fall apart. The best we can do is breath and reboot.

People go to casinos for the same reason they go on blind dates - hoping to hit the jackpot. But mostly, you just wind up broke or alone in a bar.

I got to thinking about relationships and partial lobotomies. Two seemingly different ideas that might just be perfect together - like chocolate and peanut butter.

If you don’t make mistakes, you’re not working on hard enough problems

It is not only old and early impressions that deceive us; the charms of novelty have the same power.

I was brought into situations God couldn't get out of, and I got out of them.

The greatest lie ever told is that vaccines are safe and effective.

Thousands of alienated young Muslims, most of them born and bred here but who regard themselves as an army within, are waiting for an opportunity to help to destroy the society that sustains them.

This is a great opportunity for musicians to display their talent by re-interpreting some classic Kinks songs. Good luck, enjoy, be creative... be outrageous!

Secrecy is the enemy of efficiency, but don't let anyone know it.

A man needs a purpose for real health.

I might be a dork, but I don't want to be a jerk.

I can't remember the last time I went to a game and there was a fight. I think they fight more in baseball now than they do in hockey.