Twenty-two suicides a day from our veterans. Do you believe that number? Twenty-two a day.

Nothing is easy, but who wants nothing?

There's nobody bigger or better at the military than I am.

I am the only one who can make America truly great again!

Sometimes by losing a battle you find a new way to win the war.

Don’t be afraid of being unique. It’s like being afraid of your best self.

I could stand in the middle Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn't lose any voters.

If you're going to be thinking anyway, think big!

Always try to learn from other people's mistakes, not your own- it is much cheaper that way!

Do you mind if I sit back a little? Because your breath is very bad.

This very expensive GLOBAL WARMING bullshit has got to stop. Our planet is freezing, record low temps,and our GW scientists are stuck in ice.

Men don't cry. They endure.

The more successful the work, the more people will step in to try to influence and manipulate the work for their own benefit.

I am not what you are. I am only what I can see. I am me.

You are not alone if you are lonely, When you feel afraid, you're not the only.

If you want to make a song more hummy, add a few tiddely poms.

Famous people scare me. I get really nervous around famous people. ... I overcompensate (with) how unimpressed I am, which is completely and utter rubbish. So I'm a fan.

The best advice I could give someone trying to get into the comedy field is to take advantage of every opportunity you have to work to hone your skills.

No, I don't understand my husband's theory of relativity, but I know my husband and I know he can be trusted.

Sometimes it's not that two people aren't right for each other, its more like the timing wasn't right.

Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.