Twitter is good. Why say a lot to a few people when you can say virtually nothing to everyone?

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it, it's too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away.

These pretzels are making me thirsty!

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen. You see an éclair in the receptacle... and you think to yourself: "What the hell, I'll just eat some trash."

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.

Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.

When we lift our hands in praise and worship, we break spiritual jars of perfume over Jesus. The fragrance of our praise fills the whole earth and touches the heart of God.

True beauty lies not upon gilded veneers, But found in the soul within.

Christianity spread rapidly during the first century because all Christians saw themselves as responsible for disseminating the gospel.

Wrinkles happen to human beings.

Live today like there's no tomorrow!

The wise through excess of wisdom is made a fool.

I won't be remembered for my writing. I'll be remembered as Scott's mistress.

What is salvation? To live with God. Where? Anywhere. Here this moment. One moment in infinite time is quite as good as any other moment.

I just got into the Beatles a couple years ago, you know, I like it.