Twitter makes you a comedian in the same way that digital cameras make you a photographer

Eratosthenes, the mapmaker who was the first man to accurately measure the size of the Earth, was a librarian.

If I start outsourcing all my navigation to a little talking box in my car, I'm sort of screwed. I'm going to lose my car in the parking lot every single time.

I always bring my kids vacation souvenirs printed in Comic Sans, so they know I love them but not unconditionally.

Being a nerd really pays off sometimes.

There’s just something hypnotic about maps.

For me, it started as a child with one of those little wooden jigsaw maps of the U.S., wheres theres crocodiles on Florida and apples on Washington state. That was my very first map.

It's boring to have the same guy win. I'm actively rooting against myself.

You live overseas, you see these exotic places and you want to know about them. But, weirdly, it also made me homesick for all these very prosaic places in America.

The thing you like/are good at is a sacred thing.

We don't realize how hard it was to drive anywhere outside the major cities less than a century ago.

The stories books tell transcend those of the characters inked upon their pages. A book discloses far more about the person who reads it.

Smile on the face or innocence on the face is as attractive as beauty on the face.

I’ve always been bad. Probably I shall be bad again, punished again. But the worse I am, the more I need God. I can’t shut myself out from His mercy.

Look for the little everyday pleasures and get excited about the privileges of simply being human.

Life is a great tapestry. The individual is only an insignificant thread in an immense and miraculous pattern.

Though I walk through the valley of death I will fear no evil, for I am the evilest motherfucker in the valley

I don't know how Hollywood sees me.

Now, it is much more difficult for young people coming to New York. But also when you're young, you have more time to interact with one another, to discover yourself with people of your generation.

I've had the fame and the joy of getting laughter - those are gifts.

Oh, honey, God don't care which church you go, long as you show up!