Two Americans have been awarded the Nobel Prize for Economics. They are the first to figure out all the charges on their telephone bill.

According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog.

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'

Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution.

Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers.

What's in a name?

Most people spend their lives vulnerable, relying on the rest of the world to not take advantage of it.

If your busy with yourself now, you will be busy with yourself then. If you are busy with Allah now, you will be with Him then.

In order to improve democracy, then, it's necessary to change the people, as Brecht ironically proposed.

People have to really suffer before they can risk doing what they love.

Idleness is to the human mind like rust to iron

I won't quit until I get run over by a truck, a producer or a critic.

If I gave this guy more time, there would be a swimming pool and rattan furniture.

Let our tribute to the dead be a new resolve: to respect people for what they individually think, rather than respect groups for what they were collectively brought up to believe.

What about a hoverboard?" "It's waiting on the roof, of course." Dr. Cable snorted. "What is it about you miscreants and those things?