Two fat ladies, 88! Not that you'd find these ladies at a bingo hall, of course... they're altogether a higher class of fat lady.

I did not become successful in my work through embracing or engaging in celebrity culture. I never signed away my privacy in exchange for success.

If you chase something too desperately, it eludes you.

When I was a student I was very, very ambitious, completely immersed in my comedy career. I never had that period of reckless hedonism that you should get out of your system in your youth.

I don't like big feet. It reminds me of gammon.

If things don't come easy to you, you have to pull a rabbit out of a hat.

Me, myself, personally, I like to keep myself private. I have never said I am a paragon of virtue, a model of morality. I simply do what I do.

The truth is somewhere in the middle of funny and serious.

The trick is always to write in pairs because if at least two people find it funny, you've immediately halved the odds of it not being funny.

I think if you try to look for something to show off as an actor, vanity can get the better of you.

I am of the very last generation who didn't have computers at school. As we grow old we'll become something of an aberration.

Stupidity is brief and guileless, while wit equivocates and hides. Wit is a scoundrel, while stupidity is honest and sincere.

Peace is an innocent child hated by some deviant and those who hate him will find no peace ever in their lives!

To forgive is a gift of God that permits us to let go of our past hurts.

It is only when you suffer that you truly understand.

God will either give us what we ask, or what He knows to be better for us.

Twitter! It's like being stalked by committee!

He who rides and keeps the beaten track studies the fences chiefly.

Men are themselves the source of their own fortune and misfortune.

You see, I think negative emotions are always trumped by positive emotions.

Every advance in knowledge brings us face to face with the mystery of our own being.