UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Writing and achieving your goals is not failure, not having a goal to write in the first place is the start of failure.

A woman whose life is involved in the righteous rearing of her children has a better chance of keeping up her spirits than the woman whose total concern is centered in her own personal problems.

Devotees of grammatical studies have not been distinguished for any very remarkable felicities of expression

They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself.

The way I read Billy Carter's testimony, he was a model citizen himself until the voters went and ruined his life by making his brother President.

I shall strike the stars with my uplifted head.

A loving maiden grows unconsciously more bold.

I was relying on a kind of natural transition - the transitions made by someone who is slightly deranged.

Specificity is the soul of narrative.

A lovely face is the solace of wounded hearts and the key of locked-up gates.