UXORIOUSNESS, n. A perverted affection that has strayed to one's own wife.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

I’m scared as hell to fall for you… But I’m more terrified to let you go.

The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a little longer.

The only time you mustn't fail is the last time you try.

Better to deserve praise without having it, than to have it without deserving it.

I don't know how to let you go/ You are so deep down in my soul.

If you can make your name and your works very famous and at the same time can succeed in making yourself much unknown, you are definitely the most intelligent celebrity!

I had no plans to be ever a lawyer, a crime fighter [in school].

To be absolutely certain about something, one must know everything or nothing about it.

Talk in order that I may see you.

When you find yourself beginning to feel a bond between yourself and the people you photograph, when you laugh and cry with their laughter and tears, you will know you are on the right track.